Is Perfectionism Blocking You From Getting Pregnant?

Feminine power isn’t something we go out and acquire; it’s already within us. It’s something we become willing to experience. Something to admit we have. – Marianne Williamson


Are you trying to answer every question, dot every line and cross every t, thinking if you just push hard enough, sacrifice long enough, then somehow you will earn your way into motherhood?

On this journey there is SO much coming at you all the time that it’s normal to get lost and lose sight of what YOU really need versus what somebody else might need to do to beat the odds.

At one point, I was taking 22 vitamins a day (seriously! Not kidding.) and I didn’t even really know why, except that I was afraid NOT to.

It’s common to become so afraid of never realizing your dream, that you try doing everything that’s recommended, even when it doesn’t feel quite “right” for you.

Have you ever found yourself in that situation?

The downside of this method is that it’s stressful, exhausting, expensive and overwhelming, and when you’re stressed, exhausted, broke and overwhelmed, it’s even harder to get pregnant.

When you realize you’re experiencing burnout, it is probably because you are living your journey from your masculine side, when the key to getting pregnant is all about connecting with the feminine!

….And what does THAT mean, exactly?

Check out the podcast below that breaks it down for you. Or, continue reading…, your choice my badass friend!

How can embracing the feminine help you become a mom?

1.Everyone has a masculine and feminine side.

Every human on the planet regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity has both a masculine and feminine side. People who identify as male can be said to be majoring in masculine and minoring in feminine. If you identify as female then you are majoring in feminine and minoring in masculine.

In every good partnership you will find one person majoring in feminine and one majoring in masculine because it is the synergy between the two that creates the spark of excitement and sexual tension. This is true in homosexual as well as heterosexual couples.

2. We are raised to prize masculine qualities, especially when it comes to achieving a goal (like becoming a mom).

In order to succeed in school or rise to a desirable position in your career, you had to embrace and master masculine qualities. In the work place those who succeed rely on logic, rationality, data driven decision making; they are competitive and work hard to get ahead.

These are fabulous qualities! They serve both men and women well and make the world run in an orderly and predictable manner.

3. We are also raised to discount or ignore feminine qualities because they can be “messy”

Feminine qualities include creativity, passion, emotions, spirituality, and what is sometimes referred to as your “gut instinct”. It’s that little voice inside of your head that knows what you truly want and need to do to become a mom.

The problem is it’s hard to trust this voice when we are so used to accomplishing our goals through masculine approaches and we’ve been raised to distrust feminine ways of knowing.

4. Becoming a Mom is the most feminine act you can engage in

That is why you can’t go about becoming a mom by acting like a man!

You’ve got to take off your big boy pants and slip into something soft and receptive, something open and maybe even wilder than what you’re used to or comfortable with.

5. Conception is all about reception

Conception is all about reception. It’s about learning how to receive. That can mean a lot of things like, receive messages from your body, receive messages from your gut, receive data from the world around you and process it with something beyond the logical, your inner knowing.


6. If data and logic were the solution to becoming pregnant for everyone, then IVF would have MUCH higher success rates.

Information and data are wonderful tools. But if you’ve been relying on them to guide your decision making and you’re still not pregnant, it’s time to start turning some new rocks over and consider a new approach.

As Einstein said, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. (I’m paraphrasing here 🙂 But you get the point: if you’ve been on this journey for awhile and this is resonating for you, then it’s time to pay more attention to this factor because it could be the thing that unblocks you from your baby.


7. Fear and doubt drive us to rely on our masculine side

 When women are in fear and doubt on this journey, they tend to fall back on their masculine energy because they think that if they just stay focused and keep doing things, then they will somehow outrun their pain. Doing this over and over drives women to become intensely focused, even dependent on masculine energy and…., surprise! They start living this journey like men.

Women who fall into this pattern become obsessed with “beating the clock”, pushing themselves through “just one more round” of IVF even when their bodies are clearly crying out for a break.

If this worked, that would be fine. But, unfortunately for most women, it doesn’t.


8. We ignore our femininity

Instead of tuning into themselves and their greatest asset, women ignore their femininity because it feels safer to trust the masculine ways of achieving things that they are comfortable with and which have worked in the past. They write off feminine characteristics as “impossible” “illogical” or “frivolous”. And their femininity becomes subordinated to their masculine. My love, this is one of the biggest blocks to success on this journey.

9. How can you access your feminine to become the mom you are meant to be?

First of all, realize that you don’t need to micro-manage all-the-things. Some stuff will work out, yay! Other things will get delayed or turn out to be less helpful than you hoped, and still other things will be more successful than your wildest dreams. Trust that it’s ALL unfolding in exactly the right way to bring your to your baby in exactly the right time.

Love your body. It’s the one you’ve got! Your body was made for this.  It will respond to the words you speak and the beliefs you hold about it.

Find one or two things a day that your body does really well and take a moment to be truly grateful for it.

Practice receiving. It’s so hard to step into receiving mode when you are used to being in charge. Try taking 30 minutes of “Goddess Time” at the end of each workday before starting your evening with your partner, or even yourself. Take a bath, light a candle, change your clothes, feel your inner radiance and celebrate the gorgeous, badass fertility goddess that you are!

10. Work with me

Women who work with coaches or join a support group -like the Badass Fertility Club- have been shown to have 50-65% greater success than women who stay stuck struggling on their own.

I am a fertility mindset specialist who empowers women to remove their blocks so that they can become the moms they are meant to be.

If you want to learn more about my Badass Fertility Program that helps women get their BFPs faster and with less stress than every before, go to BadassFertility.com.

While you’re there download my BadassFertility Mindset Cheatsheet and get one step closer to your baby, today!